February is
always sold as a time for lovers because of Valentine's Day. And why not? This
far north of the equator it's still wintery cold and February is that dreary
mix of frost and mud. So a box of chocolates, a funny greeting card and a
little time with someone you love is a good diversion from the realities of the
season.
Sooner or
later comes the crucial issue in any relationship -where is this whole thing
going? I was listening one couple talk about their upcoming marriage, a
traditional marriage in June. This isn't universal but at least for many
European and European influenced cultures June is the ideal month to get
married in.
Getting
married in June goes back to the days of Ancient Rome. The month June itself is
named after Jupiter's wife Juno, she herself the goddess of marriage and
childbirth. For some reason the month of May was dedicated to the unhappy dead.
What a concept that is, I'm sure if the dead could talk to us few of them would
be happy about the situation. Still May was not the month to get married in if
you could help it.
The
tradition of the June wedding carried on into medieval times. June is usually a
slow time on the farm. All the heavy work of plowing and planting is done. It's
easy to estimate the future yield, providing nothing bad happens between June
and harvest time. June can be a short rest and a time of celebration. One of
the most raucous yearly celebrations was the feast day of Saint Audrey on June
23rd. There would usually be fair with
plenty of drinking and entertainment. It was said that there were so many
drinks in her honor the slurred toast "to Audrey" became the root of
the word tawdry.
All the full
moons of the year had a name; there is wolf moon, the hunter moon and the
harvest moon. The first full moon after the summer solstice was known as
"the honey moon".
The whole
idea of romantic love in historic terms is relatively new. Most marriages were
just as much a business transaction as it was anything else. Up until the mid
1800s it was pretty common for first cousins to marry, it was a way of keeping
property in the family. Many royal families of Europe had generations of
cousins marrying each other.
Daughters
were both the property and responsibility of the father or male head of
household. Another concept that went back to Ancient Rome. In the Roman Empire
a father had absolute legal power over his family which also included putting
his child to death, if the father deemed it necessary. So it was required the
father give the bride away at the ceremony.
If the bride
came with a substantial dowry then there would be a possibility of kidnapping.
To prevent that the groom would call upon his right hand man -like in a good
right handed punch. That right hand man, the best man, was there to help
protect the bride -even if that meant doing it by sword point.
I like
weddings and receptions. Since I'm pretty relaxed as a public speaker I have
been asked to say a few words in the past. I have two standard speeches. One is
a drawn out and very vulgar story with the moral that a man can make a marriage
successful if he is able to handle humiliation gracefully. That story is saved
for the bachelor party.
The other
speech is suitable for all ages and starts off with the question what's one
think you shouldn't really talk about at a wedding? The past, it's certainly
tacky to bring up old history, especially the bride or the groom's. But talking
about the past violates the very spirit of marriage which should be all about
the future. Where two single people stop looking backwards and merge their
fortunes together as a new entity, as a married couple.
Key Average Wedding Statistics
Wedding Spend (excluding honeymoon): $26,984
Most Expensive Area to Get Married (excluding honeymoon): NYC (Manhattan), $70,030
Least Expensive Area to Get Married (excluding honeymoon): Utah, $13,214
Wedding Dress Spend: $1,099
Percentage of Destination Weddings: 24%
Bride’s Age: 29
Groom’s Age: 31
Number of Guests: 141
Average Wedding Spend (on a per guest basis): $194
Number of Bridesmaids: 4
Number of Groomsmen: 4
Length of Engagement: 14 months
Most Popular Engagement Month: December (16%)
Most Popular Wedding Month: June (15%)
Most Popular Wedding Color: White/Ivory (43%)
Most Expensive Area to Get Married (excluding honeymoon): NYC (Manhattan), $70,030
Least Expensive Area to Get Married (excluding honeymoon): Utah, $13,214
Wedding Dress Spend: $1,099
Percentage of Destination Weddings: 24%
Bride’s Age: 29
Groom’s Age: 31
Number of Guests: 141
Average Wedding Spend (on a per guest basis): $194
Number of Bridesmaids: 4
Number of Groomsmen: 4
Length of Engagement: 14 months
Most Popular Engagement Month: December (16%)
Most Popular Wedding Month: June (15%)
Most Popular Wedding Color: White/Ivory (43%)
2010
Average Wedding Budget Breakdown
Overall Wedding (excluding honeymoon): $26,984
Ceremony Site: $1,393
Reception Venue: $12,124
Reception Band: $3,081
Reception DJ: $900
Photographer: $2,320
Videographer: $1,463
Wedding Gown: $1,099
Florist/Décor: $1,988
Invitations : $351
Wedding Cake: $540
Ceremony Musicians: $503
Catering (cost per head): $61
Wedding Day Transportation: $667
Favors: $222
Rehearsal Dinner : $1,127
Engagement Ring : $5,392
Ceremony Site: $1,393
Reception Venue: $12,124
Reception Band: $3,081
Reception DJ: $900
Photographer: $2,320
Videographer: $1,463
Wedding Gown: $1,099
Florist/Décor: $1,988
Wedding Cake: $540
Ceremony Musicians: $503
Catering (cost per head): $61
Wedding Day Transportation: $667
Favors: $222
Figures
based on respondents who hired a professional vendor for the service.
Top
20 Most Expensive Wedding Areas
1. NYC (Manhattan): $70,730
2. NY (Long Island, Hudson Valley and NYC Outer Boroughs): $51,811, $45,695, $44,718
3. Northern/Central NJ and Southern NJ: $49,347, $36,694
4. Rhode Island: $41,169
5. Philadelphia, PA: $36,294
6. Santa Barbara/Ventura, CA, and Los Angeles, CA: $36,233, $33,745
7. Boston, MA: $35,458
8. Chicago, IL: $35,389
9. Connecticut: $35,197
10. Southern Florida (Miami, Fort Lauderdale and surrounding areas): $33,810
2. NY (Long Island, Hudson Valley and NYC Outer Boroughs): $51,811, $45,695, $44,718
3. Northern/Central NJ and Southern NJ: $49,347, $36,694
4. Rhode Island: $41,169
5. Philadelphia, PA: $36,294
6. Santa Barbara/Ventura, CA, and Los Angeles, CA: $36,233, $33,745
7. Boston, MA: $35,458
8. Chicago, IL: $35,389
9. Connecticut: $35,197
10. Southern Florida (Miami, Fort Lauderdale and surrounding areas): $33,810
11. Washington, DC, Northern Virginia and Suburban Maryland:
$33,727
12. Orange County/Inland Empire, CA, and San Diego, CA: $31,954, $30,687
13. San Francisco Bay Area, CA, and California/Nevada (Sacramento, Tahoe and Reno): $31,173, $26,567
14. Baltimore, MD: $30,073
15. Houston, TX: $29,129
16. Pittsburgh, PA: $28,408
17. Dallas, TX: $27,823
18. Vermont: $27,333
19. Hawaii: $26,722
20. Austin/San Antonio, TX: $26,329
12. Orange County/Inland Empire, CA, and San Diego, CA: $31,954, $30,687
13. San Francisco Bay Area, CA, and California/Nevada (Sacramento, Tahoe and Reno): $31,173, $26,567
14. Baltimore, MD: $30,073
15. Houston, TX: $29,129
16. Pittsburgh, PA: $28,408
17. Dallas, TX: $27,823
18. Vermont: $27,333
19. Hawaii: $26,722
20. Austin/San Antonio, TX: $26,329
A few favorite
songs for the reception
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